Friday, January 30, 2009

Guaranteed to turn men gay

I know it may seem that I am a YouTube junkie, but it's rare that I'm actually on the site. However, when I do check it out, it's amazing the things I have found. For example, take this video:

Men - do NOT watch this. If you do, there's a likelihood you'll start saying "fabulous" a lot and making fun of "heteros" with your girlfriends.

Women - enjoy the hotness that is Hasselhoff!


Stop the insanity!

Bad joke of the day

What gets longer when pulled, fits between your boobs, inserts neatly in a hole AND works best when jerked?





A seat belt you pervert! Buckle Up!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Baby-batter wanted

Attention all capable men who would like to donate their baby-batter to a woman who would like just that (and nothing else please...read the blog for specifics), please visit Miss Amy Mac, aka: Frosting Licker.

In all seriousness, she's a cool chick with a cool blog (who updates hers about as much as I do). You'll be intrigued, frightened, disgusted, and fascinated all at the same time. Kind of like a Friday night in my room in the early 90s.

Chicks dig blondes

TAKE A NUMBER, LADIES!


Goin' to Christmas Village

While we were in Jacksonville during the Christmas holiday, Phoebe and my mom went to see one of my cousins who had a massive collection of "Christmas Houses" (not sure what you call them). She has so many of these little houses throughout her place that they form a little village. All that's missing are Oompa Loompas! (this is the age where Phoebe tries to "smile" for the camera, but it looks like she's trying to be happy on a terrorist video)

Ummm, can you smile a little more please?

This place is great!

Just one tree? That's it?

Oh there's the other one. THAT'S what I'm talkin' about!


Go Gators! (National Champs, ya know)

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Watch out for F bombs! Be who you are and be proud of it

Everyone has done something in their past which could potentially be embarrassing. It's okay to admit it, everyone's done it. Think about when you were younger and some of the things you did that stick out in your memory. C'mon, you know. Yeah, that one. The one you said you'd never tell anyone about (or hoped that so-and-so would never mention).

Now I'm not just talking about stupid teenage stuff. Like the time a couple of friends and I fire-bombed some high school kids in an Albertson's parking lot, only to be chased for several miles while driving my 1973 Lincoln Town Car (4 door, mind you) with beer bottles being thrown at us, scared out of my mind in fear that my piece of shit car was going to break down and we'd get our asses beat.

No, I mean something that you did and hoped nobody ever found out because you'd never be able to run for public office or look at your mother the same. Hey, we all make mistakes and there's nothing to be ashamed of, at least that's how I feel. In fact, sometimes it's good when things come out so you can face it, acknowledge it, claim it, and learn from it. Perhaps even have some fun with it.

Case in point: There's a video on YouTube of Bill O'Reilly back in the day when he worked at Inside Edition where he totally freaked out on someone. Now I know there's a lot of people out there who despise the man for some reason or another. Even if you don't agree with him politically or like his attitude, I have the utmost respect for the things he's done to help kids in our country. There aren't too many people who commit themselves to help children as much as he does. However, I'm sure he looks back on this as one of his most embarrassing moments (and caught on tape!):

*caution! bad language ahead!*



Ok, so he blew his top for whatever reason. Certainly this video came about because of someone else's disdain for the man. I find it freaking hilarious! God knows I've lost my temper before. Just see what happens when Phoebe tries to take away the remote when I'm playing Tiger Woods 09 on the Wii . . . and it's ON! (haha) So the man made a mistake. I personally liked the effort to get it right!

So the video goes public, and what do you know? Someone makes something funny out of it. Well....how about put it to music?

*caution! bad language ahead!*



That's even more hilarious!! See? We can make something funny out of something totally embarrassing and live to see another day.

One day there may be some songs posted that I created WAY back in the day. Just me, a guitar, an amp, a microphone and recording equipment, and some cheap beer in a sweltering room in an apartment I used to live. Needless to say it's terrible, has REAL bad language, and isn't so friendly towards women (hey, I had just broken up with someone - NOT my choice). That would be pretty embarrassing if/when some of those songs ever came out. But hey, it was fun.